This is C. She’s a friend of mine.
She did the transformation session as well as the new RAW session with Ella Photography. As part of the Redefine Perfect project, I wanted her to share a few words about her experience with me and getting a boudoir session. Here’s what she had to say.

What is “beauty” to you? I don’t think I can define my standard of beauty. It changes constantly. I think anybody can look beautiful. But feeling beautiful or being beautiful is not something that can be measured. Beauty is really something that comes from so deep inside oneself. (Sounds cliché, but it is so true)

What was the goal in getting a boudoir session done? I had already done the transformation boudoir shoot while I was going through my own “transformation” and it was an amazing experience. I felt so hot and I look at the photos and I can’t believe that’s me! Being pampered by the Boudoir team for hair and make-up was incredible. I felt like a movie star. This time around, after 2 years of working on myself and re-building my life and confidence, I wanted something that represented the real me. I wanted raw-animalistic, no-filtered me. I’ve learned to love myself in all my brokenness and imperfections. I wanted that to show in my shoot.

Why do you think it’s important for women to feel beautiful? Roll out the Fromage…. It is so important for a woman to feel beautiful on her own! We make it too easy for others to define our beauty/worth. People can, and will, build us up or break us down with a few choice words. When a woman looks in the mirror, we usually see our “ugliness”. We are _____. We are too ______. Not enough _______. If a woman doesn’t feel like she is worth the sun and moon and a bag of chips then nobody will ever convince her she is beautiful. She has got to feel it, live it, and breathe it herself.

How did u enjoy getting photos done at your place? I’d say it was less intimidating. For both sessions, I was shaking like a leaf for the first few shots. Obviously the photographer plays a huge role in making the model feel comfortable, but this time there we’re no lights or studio props. I felt sexy and confident and comfortable and in my zone. It also was less stressful because all I had to do was answer the door and let the magic happen! Ur own clothes/makeup/hair? I loved this aspect of it! I’m no guru when it comes to makeup or hair so I was a little worried I’d eff up the look. But I just did what I’d do if I were going out with the girls or on a date. Once I started getting dolled up I felt a surge of confidence. It was like “well, this is how the world sees me on the reg, so let’s do this!” I chose outfits that I would totally wear under my everyday clothes and that made me feel sexy. I didn’t want to do the “special” lingerie because let’s face it… spending the day in a bustier is impossible. I chose things based on what I felt would be sexy to uncover!

As a woman, do you feel “ugly” sometimes? Why do you think that is? Holy crap yes! For me, it is less physically ugly than it is emotionally ugly. I was frequently told how physically pretty I was. But I was never encouraged by society to be beautiful emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. As I got older and wiser, I felt incomplete. Like a shell. It was like, as long as I shut up and didn’t show my inner self, than I would be enough for the world. Add bad hair days, muffin tops and razor burn to that mix and it was like gasoline to a fire. I still have ugly days; I’m just learning how to better embrace them with popcorn and ice-cream and jogging pants.

How did you feel after the session/after you got your photos back? After the session I was empowered. You showed me a few shots as we went along and I felt like a million bucks. I wasn’t prepared for how good the photos turned out! I was looking at myself in the pictures and thinking, now THAT’S me! I did that! I chose that outfit and I did that hair! Obviously, you know how to work a camera and made the pictures come to life. It was like looking at myself through a different lens; a sexy, sultry, beautiful ME! Those photos are real… there is nothing in them but me.

Any last words? Ya. Every woman should not only do a boudoir shoot but deserves one! And don’t do it for a gift for your partner. Do it for yourself! Nobody is 100% satisfied with their face/body. I have extra weight where I don’t want it, stretch marks and cellulite and hair where there shouldn’t be. But having these pictures to remind me that I also have a great ass and an awesome go-get-em personality makes me realise that even with all my “flaws”, I am a freaking Queen!